I know that I won’t be the only momma that feels this, but lately I have felt sorry.
Sorry that I have “abandoned” my husband the last six months. Sorry that his needs are secondary to me, but I can assure him that he is still one of my top priorities, however, he just isn’t on the top of my list at this very moment.
I know that he has needs, wants, dreams and desires. I can only hope that when I tell him that I want to be his backbone, that he knows that I truly mean it. I know that he is tired of my excuses of being exhausted, run down and busy, but trust me, I wish I had the energy that I had a year and a half ago.
I know some days it feels like we’re just roommates that decided to have a baby, but I hope he knows that I truly want better for our marriage; for us. Because together, we are so good. We are great.
The problem is, my life, my brain and my body are so wrapped up in being a momma to Mason that even after he is sound asleep and we’re sitting in our bed watching TV, my brain is still in momma mode.
However, I am not the person he married almost 3 years ago. I have changed and evolved not only into a wife, and a best friend, but a momma, and keeper of all schedules. I am the chef that specializes in baby formula and bubba’s favorites: mashed bananas, sweet potato puree and puffs. I am the night and the day nurse. I am the baby whisper. I wouldn’t change any of it. I don’t want any other life. I love the life that him and I created. But, I am not the spontaneous, beer-drinking, Jameson shot taking, adventurous, energetic gal he met way back when. I am a momma. And it is all of me.
If you’re reading this Sparky, I will always be your wifey. I will always be your best friend. I will always love you and care for you. I promise that this momma mode isn’t forever, but for now Mason is my priority because he needs me so much right now. We do need a date night ASAP, or even a day date, so let’s make that happen. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, even when I am cranky, even when I am sad, or hangry or going crazy from exhaustion. You are and will forever be, my one true love.